Posted on: Sunday, May 31, 2009
Posted at: 8:04 PM
hello. :) life has been pretty sucky lately, even though holidays have started and all. by right, i should be very happy right now, considering what has happened these few days, but i'm just feeling very cynical and like UGH-ish. like, i've been trying so hard, for so long, trying and trying, but it never seems to work, and my breakthru never comes. why? doesn't God know that its hard to hold on to a rope that seems to be forever slipping from my grasp? doesn't he know that im tired of trying so hard and reaping no results? im sure he does. and i know i shldn't be feeling this way, i should like zhen zuo qi lai and face reality. i've been doing that for like i dont know how long. and im tired of it. tired of doing it over and over again. everytime i hope, i think maybe this is my time, maybe it'll be this time, but it never really works out. i don't know what to do.

ahhh....i know im very lucky alrdy. like, i have a home, a family, friends, everything that anyone could ever want. God put me in singapore and all, and im always very safe and my parents provide for my every need, so im thankful for that. but surely life is more than all these things. there are so many things im unsure of, so many things i dont understand. i wanna do those things i dreamed of, but now it just seems like its never gonna happen. god help me. i still believe, so please let it be okay.

lols. so weird lar. i went to watch a movie with isy yesterday. :DDD so fun haha we went to watch monsters vs aliens and it was so funny. haha. the bob guy was soooo cute. :D he's the blue colour thing. haha he's like "i've found someone better than you, derek. she's green and has fourteen cubes of pineapple! you jerk!" haha then he wiggles his jelly thing in front of derek who is such an idiot. reminds me of dirt yeah.

training later, i hope there's no track.

byes
leanne