Posted on: Sunday, May 31, 2009
Posted at: 8:04 PM
Posted at: 8:04 PM
hello. :) life has been pretty sucky lately, even though holidays have started and all. by right, i should be very happy right now, considering what has happened these few days, but i'm just feeling very cynical and like UGH-ish. like, i've been trying so hard, for so long, trying and trying, but it never seems to work, and my breakthru never comes. why? doesn't God know that its hard to hold on to a rope that seems to be forever slipping from my grasp? doesn't he know that im tired of trying so hard and reaping no results? im sure he does. and i know i shldn't be feeling this way, i should like zhen zuo qi lai and face reality. i've been doing that for like i dont know how long. and im tired of it. tired of doing it over and over again. everytime i hope, i think maybe this is my time, maybe it'll be this time, but it never really works out. i don't know what to do.
ahhh....i know im very lucky alrdy. like, i have a home, a family, friends, everything that anyone could ever want. God put me in singapore and all, and im always very safe and my parents provide for my every need, so im thankful for that. but surely life is more than all these things. there are so many things im unsure of, so many things i dont understand. i wanna do those things i dreamed of, but now it just seems like its never gonna happen. god help me. i still believe, so please let it be okay.
lols. so weird lar. i went to watch a movie with isy yesterday. :DDD so fun haha we went to watch monsters vs aliens and it was so funny. haha. the bob guy was soooo cute. :D he's the blue colour thing. haha he's like "i've found someone better than you, derek. she's green and has fourteen cubes of pineapple! you jerk!" haha then he wiggles his jelly thing in front of derek who is such an idiot. reminds me of dirt yeah.
training later, i hope there's no track.
byes
leanne
ahhh....i know im very lucky alrdy. like, i have a home, a family, friends, everything that anyone could ever want. God put me in singapore and all, and im always very safe and my parents provide for my every need, so im thankful for that. but surely life is more than all these things. there are so many things im unsure of, so many things i dont understand. i wanna do those things i dreamed of, but now it just seems like its never gonna happen. god help me. i still believe, so please let it be okay.
lols. so weird lar. i went to watch a movie with isy yesterday. :DDD so fun haha we went to watch monsters vs aliens and it was so funny. haha. the bob guy was soooo cute. :D he's the blue colour thing. haha he's like "i've found someone better than you, derek. she's green and has fourteen cubes of pineapple! you jerk!" haha then he wiggles his jelly thing in front of derek who is such an idiot. reminds me of dirt yeah.
training later, i hope there's no track.
byes
leanne
Posted on: Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Posted at: 8:38 AM
Posted at: 8:38 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKDL-NhBYks&NR=1 haha its "candles" by hey monday. so nice haha and so apt. ;D sigh. jueying didn't come online so i'm kind of sian. it is a day to remember forever, because on this day, the 26 may 2009, choo jueying failed to go online. But nvm im talking sarah, so its better.
i cant stand people who swear like it's nobody's business. or like call other ppl names like b**** or like the f word and stuff. like who gives you the right to do that and why would you do that anyway? just to make yourself feel better? thats like plain selfish. and stupid. and argh. like you're the best or like better than other people. sigh. haha i dont know lar i guess im just feeling very sian and half pissed off right now.
i have a dance exam tomorrow. haha. latin american jive. haha im dancing with suddy. :DD she's super enthu. i was like "suddy, we shld take smaller steps coz thats how the teacher did it," then she was like "BUTBUT..." argh some american latin dances are rumba, samba, paso doble, chacha and jive. they originated from latin america, from places such as cuba, north and central american countries. haha i memorised that. mr ian's gonna ask us tmr. T__T i hope i remember. haha.
can't remember the times we went thru
can't recall the smile on your face
don't wanna forget
the things you said and did
i wish you were here beside me
i wish you didn't have to go
i wish you'd never left
you don't know how much i miss you
don't know how long i think about you
cause really, i dont mean nothing to you
haha anyway, yeah. wish me luck for the dance exam. im really gonna need it
byes
leanne
i cant stand people who swear like it's nobody's business. or like call other ppl names like b**** or like the f word and stuff. like who gives you the right to do that and why would you do that anyway? just to make yourself feel better? thats like plain selfish. and stupid. and argh. like you're the best or like better than other people. sigh. haha i dont know lar i guess im just feeling very sian and half pissed off right now.
i have a dance exam tomorrow. haha. latin american jive. haha im dancing with suddy. :DD she's super enthu. i was like "suddy, we shld take smaller steps coz thats how the teacher did it," then she was like "BUTBUT..." argh some american latin dances are rumba, samba, paso doble, chacha and jive. they originated from latin america, from places such as cuba, north and central american countries. haha i memorised that. mr ian's gonna ask us tmr. T__T i hope i remember. haha.
can't remember the times we went thru
can't recall the smile on your face
don't wanna forget
the things you said and did
i wish you were here beside me
i wish you didn't have to go
i wish you'd never left
you don't know how much i miss you
don't know how long i think about you
cause really, i dont mean nothing to you
haha anyway, yeah. wish me luck for the dance exam. im really gonna need it
byes
leanne
Posted on: Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Posted at: 5:28 AM
Posted at: 5:28 AM
i fell asleep like 5 times during class today. which is like, amazing. usually i stay very awake but today was like zzzzzz... couldn't help it and it was like plain torture to just try to keep my eyes from closing. haha. it didn't really help much that i ate chocolate ice cream for recess, in a valiant attempt to get energy. haha. should hav ate the choc thing, but i forgot about it. :DD we did this poem thing for english today. supposed to analyse poems and stuff. i never knew poems were so cool. :D especially like "my papa's waltz" and "the road less traveled". it's like WHOA. i read it and i was like LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT. haha usually i hate poems coz they're quite boring, but these were like wahahah so nice. hehe.
cant walk properly now, coz of stupid muscle aches, mostly in my leg. haha. like since yesterday my thighs were aching badly, then today my calf muscles also. T__T. haha then i have to walk like a stick and then i sit down like an old lady. O.O i think i didn't stretch enough before 2.4 haha. but nevermind. muscle aches are good because they mean ur muscles are developing. :DDD i wanna grow taller. TALLER. coz my parents think im gonna stop growing soon. noooo. thats why now i drink lots of soyabean milk and then im gonna stretch a lot. haha im very unflexible.
omg
omg
omg
omg
why are there stupid ants on my computer?????
going to kill them now
byes
leanne
cant walk properly now, coz of stupid muscle aches, mostly in my leg. haha. like since yesterday my thighs were aching badly, then today my calf muscles also. T__T. haha then i have to walk like a stick and then i sit down like an old lady. O.O i think i didn't stretch enough before 2.4 haha. but nevermind. muscle aches are good because they mean ur muscles are developing. :DDD i wanna grow taller. TALLER. coz my parents think im gonna stop growing soon. noooo. thats why now i drink lots of soyabean milk and then im gonna stretch a lot. haha im very unflexible.
omg
omg
omg
omg
why are there stupid ants on my computer?????
going to kill them now
byes
leanne
Posted on: Sunday, May 10, 2009
Posted at: 2:58 AM
Posted at: 2:58 AM
yesh haha i just finished mugging lit. stupid flowers for algernon. i actually like the book and everything and i think its cool, but why do they have to test us on it? it ruins everything. i spent like half the day trying to annotate the whole thing? and then now i have to go find significant quotes and try to memorise them for the lit exam on tuesday. help help help. i think its really sad how charlie feels all emo and everything and then ppl make fun of him. because they feel superior to him. so stupid. haha.
anyway, NO SCHOOL TOMORROW! whoots. but i'll have to wake up early and mug for exams. EXAMS. EXAMS. but after tuesday i'll be free. woohoo. sigh. argh i feel really tired now even though i woke up really late today. like at 11.15. haha. so late.
YESTERDAY SERVICE WAS SO FUN!!! haha worship was like the best ever. though i feel like that for every worship but still. haha. i don't care anymore, what others think, or what they feel about what i do and everything. Coz this is how my Maker made me, and if they don't like it talk to my Maker. haha. not saying that im not gonna accept criticism and i think im perfect lar. coz im not. :D im just saying that if im doing what God wants me to do, then im not gonna be afraid of wad others say. haha. it kinda got into my head yesterday that if i do so many things to make sure i have everything in this world, and if this world is temporary, then wads gonna happen on the day that everything fades away? wad else will i be left with? im gonna try to store up things in heaven that no one can take away for me. though im not sure how im gonna do it. i'll start by the simple things i guess. the really really simple things. i don't know. but im just gonna try.
it's not all sorted out yet though. haha im still quite confused about some things. but i don't need everything to be clear to me for me to live out God's plan in my life. sometimes i don't really know wad he wants me to do? like wad should i do, how i should live my life. thats why im doing the simple things. maybe while doing these things i'll find out how i should live. haha the answer will come. :D if i wait. and try. haha.
omg i love lifehouse!!! haha so random but its true!!! lifehouse rocks. rocks rocks rocks rocks. pebbles. haha. ok that didn't make much sense, but anyway, i like lifehouse. :D their songs are so nice. and jon foreman is so cool!!! whahaha he is so cool :D switchfoot rocks yay. yeah...haha.
i hope im able to live thru this, to be able to live it out long term. i know im not alone. :D i have friends in high places. haha.
byes
leanne
anyway, NO SCHOOL TOMORROW! whoots. but i'll have to wake up early and mug for exams. EXAMS. EXAMS. but after tuesday i'll be free. woohoo. sigh. argh i feel really tired now even though i woke up really late today. like at 11.15. haha. so late.
YESTERDAY SERVICE WAS SO FUN!!! haha worship was like the best ever. though i feel like that for every worship but still. haha. i don't care anymore, what others think, or what they feel about what i do and everything. Coz this is how my Maker made me, and if they don't like it talk to my Maker. haha. not saying that im not gonna accept criticism and i think im perfect lar. coz im not. :D im just saying that if im doing what God wants me to do, then im not gonna be afraid of wad others say. haha. it kinda got into my head yesterday that if i do so many things to make sure i have everything in this world, and if this world is temporary, then wads gonna happen on the day that everything fades away? wad else will i be left with? im gonna try to store up things in heaven that no one can take away for me. though im not sure how im gonna do it. i'll start by the simple things i guess. the really really simple things. i don't know. but im just gonna try.
it's not all sorted out yet though. haha im still quite confused about some things. but i don't need everything to be clear to me for me to live out God's plan in my life. sometimes i don't really know wad he wants me to do? like wad should i do, how i should live my life. thats why im doing the simple things. maybe while doing these things i'll find out how i should live. haha the answer will come. :D if i wait. and try. haha.
omg i love lifehouse!!! haha so random but its true!!! lifehouse rocks. rocks rocks rocks rocks. pebbles. haha. ok that didn't make much sense, but anyway, i like lifehouse. :D their songs are so nice. and jon foreman is so cool!!! whahaha he is so cool :D switchfoot rocks yay. yeah...haha.
i hope im able to live thru this, to be able to live it out long term. i know im not alone. :D i have friends in high places. haha.
byes
leanne
Posted on: Sunday, May 3, 2009
Posted at: 5:41 AM
Posted at: 5:41 AM
though i know things will be ok in the end coz God's always there, sometimes...well. haha. service yesterday was fun. :D nic shld have come. hahaha. i laugh too much. i've decided to put my 100% faith in God. at least, i'll try to.
What of the things
That I wanna say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me
And all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
Cause it's you and me
With all of the people and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off you
---------------------------------------------------------
Maybe i'm out of luck
Maybe i'm just blind
Not this time
Rain on my hopes
Rain on my soul
Rain on everything that I know
It feels so ludicrous, the pursuit of this dream
We thought we'd be so long ago
haha just thought these lyrics made sense. :D I keep telling myself God's with me, and it's ok to feel confused and blur. haha. sheesh i use "haha" too many times in msn convos. it's like the thing i say when there's nothing else to say. i wish i understood it better. so i wouldn't be so confused. haha no im not talking about math, though in kinda applies the same way. haha. exams are tomorrow, and i'm blogging? wow. i should go study. like NOW.
i should have done it differently maybe. it might have turned out differently. though how much different it can get is one thing. life is full of surprises. God is full of surprises. but most of the times they're good surprises in the end.
haha nowadays i keep thinking about like what's gonna happen in the future. what am i gonna be doing? where would i be going? what's gonna happen? how am i ever gonna reach there? it seems really far away and hard to reach. like there's now, there's the future, and theres this big empty gap in between that i cant see very clearly. i keep trying to think of what might happen, but it all seems quite...unlikely. i don't know. haha. my friends are all talking about it too. everyone seems to be mentioning it. though they don't really take much notice. then i think "yeah what's really gonna happen in like 10 years?" i can't really imagine myself then. i just know it's gonna be really fun. and well, God's in control and he has a great plan for me. haha this blog post so serious.
please don't ask. pleasepleasepleaseplease. haha. :D WE MUST ALL LEARN TO SMILE.
byes
leanne
What of the things
That I wanna say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me
And all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
Cause it's you and me
With all of the people and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off you
---------------------------------------------------------
Maybe i'm out of luck
Maybe i'm just blind
Not this time
Rain on my hopes
Rain on my soul
Rain on everything that I know
It feels so ludicrous, the pursuit of this dream
We thought we'd be so long ago
haha just thought these lyrics made sense. :D I keep telling myself God's with me, and it's ok to feel confused and blur. haha. sheesh i use "haha" too many times in msn convos. it's like the thing i say when there's nothing else to say. i wish i understood it better. so i wouldn't be so confused. haha no im not talking about math, though in kinda applies the same way. haha. exams are tomorrow, and i'm blogging? wow. i should go study. like NOW.
i should have done it differently maybe. it might have turned out differently. though how much different it can get is one thing. life is full of surprises. God is full of surprises. but most of the times they're good surprises in the end.
haha nowadays i keep thinking about like what's gonna happen in the future. what am i gonna be doing? where would i be going? what's gonna happen? how am i ever gonna reach there? it seems really far away and hard to reach. like there's now, there's the future, and theres this big empty gap in between that i cant see very clearly. i keep trying to think of what might happen, but it all seems quite...unlikely. i don't know. haha. my friends are all talking about it too. everyone seems to be mentioning it. though they don't really take much notice. then i think "yeah what's really gonna happen in like 10 years?" i can't really imagine myself then. i just know it's gonna be really fun. and well, God's in control and he has a great plan for me. haha this blog post so serious.
please don't ask. pleasepleasepleaseplease. haha. :D WE MUST ALL LEARN TO SMILE.
byes
leanne